RazzMamas

night night

2008-09-08T12:47:00.003-06:00

So, following the recent sleep issues we've been having, I instituted the night-night circuit. We say goodnight to all the animals and bye-bye to all the lights, then night-night for Mama and in to bed with whatever lovvey of the day he wants to bring. This has been working wonderfully. If it doesn't work, we wait a few minutes and repeat the process topless so the nursing can begin before going in to lay down. The fact that this helps has helped me understand some of the feelings the Razz is probably having, as I get the same thing: I'm exhausted but for some reason have a non-specific anxiety about actually going to sleep. That's a horrible feeling and if that's what he feels, I'm into doing whatever I can to help him deal with it.

But that's not really the point here. The point is, the Razz is freakin' adorable. He has a fascination with vacuum cleaners, brooms, and more recently, air conditioning vents. In the last couple of weeks his choices of lovveys has included a toy broom, a real broom, and the dirt devil cone vac twice. Last night, as we made the rounds the second time, he directed me to both the full-sized vacuum and the little cone vac to say good night to them (complete with night-night kisses) and then to the air conditioning vent. Thankfully, he settled for waving bye-bye to the vent. I wasn't looking forward to hoisting him up there to give it a kiss, especially if it was going to turn into night-night kisses for ALL of the vents!

C25K, 100 pushups progress

2008-08-25T10:00:00.003-06:00

I'm currently working through the couch to 5K beginning running program from coolrunning.com. I've started this program before, but never made it to the end. Right now I have finished the first three weeks, and my knees are killing me. Since several other programs I've looked at have a week off during the third week to avoid injury (with no-impact activity instead, such as biking or swimming), I've decided to go ahead and take a week off and let my knees recover a bit. My plan is to jump back in and repeat week three after this week of rest and move on with the rest of the schedule. That makes this Wednesday my first day back on. Hopefully I'll be ready by then.

One of the problems I had with C25K last time around was the off days. I get really enthusiastic at the beginning and taking days off makes me lose steam. So, to avoid this situation, I'm also doing the 100 pushups thing from hundredpushups.com on the C25K off days. I'm doing this on an incline using the stairs, as I'm completely unable to do a single pushup at the moment (or at least I was when I started, not so much now!). After making it through the first two weeks, I wasn't able to make the cutoff to move on but I did do well enough to move over one column, so I decided to go ahead and start from the beginning again in column 2. I'm loving the way this is going. I'm up to 40 pushups (not all at once!) and I am actually starting to believe that eventually I will be able to do the promised 100, even if it will take more than the scheduled 6 weeks. My prediction is that after I finish weeks 1 and 2 for the second time, I will move back to column 1 for weeks 3 and 4, and then repeat 3 and 4 in column 2 before moving on to the final two weeks (which I will also probably need to perform once in column 1 and a second time in column 2). We'll see.

The Razz's Cousin is CRAWLING!!!

2008-08-07T08:18:00.001-06:00

I can't believe this little cutie-pie is crawling already! I love her little pony tail too!

the Razz's new cousin

2008-01-17T15:13:00.000-06:00

The Razz has a new cousin, born today around 2pm :) !! I can't wait to meet her.

Will Sits

2007-09-13T18:26:00.000-06:00

2007-05-29T11:54:00.001-06:00

A "Will Grows Up" Filmstrip

2007-04-16T06:57:00.001-06:00

9 Weeks

2007-04-15T21:24:00.000-06:00

10 Days

2007-03-07T14:30:00.000-06:00

first longies :)

2007-02-19T21:43:00.000-06:00

Well, we are officially waiting until I'm healed from the c-section before we start cloth diapering, but in a fit of annoyance over poor fitting newborn disposable diapers (and a puddle of pee that missed the diaper entirely) I put the razz in his first prefold last night, with the first pair of longies I knit him for a cover. I'm really pleased with the outcome. I can't wait to get better so we can get to the cloth diapering full time!

more pics

2007-02-19T06:42:00.000-06:00

Baby Pictures!

2007-02-16T18:53:00.000-06:00

wow, snow storms really do make babies!

2007-02-13T10:07:00.000-06:00

Or at least they make your water break! Mine broke at 1 this morning, with 6-8 inches of snow down and not a plow in sight. I was having a few contractions per hour over night, but nothing very strong, so at least we didn't have to worry about driving in that! This morning, they stopped completely. They got going again after a while and they seem to be a bit stronger now, but still not much to shout about. I keep telling the Razz that at this point, it's much better if he comes out on his own soon, because he'll probably be born today whether he wants to or not. I mean, they're not going to let me go that long with my water broke. I'm pushing off the moment when we actually tell the doctor that my water broke to increase my chances of getting started on my own, but there's only so long you can let it go. I mean, "yo, doc, yeah, umm, my water broke 4 days ago" is not really a great way to start a conversation. And I don't really want my doctor mad. I mean, she *is* the one with the needles and IV bags afterall.

The Carseat Thing

2007-01-04T22:45:00.000-06:00

OK, consumer reports just crash tested a bunch of carseats at slightly higher speeds than required for the national safety standard. By slighly, I mean the standard calls for tests at 30 mph, and they did frontal crashes at 35 mph and side impacts at 38 mph. I'm really annoyed by their write-up at the moment. They tested each of 12 seats against front and side impacts, while secured using the LATCH system and again while secured with the car safety belts. As a result, they recommend only 2 seats, which performed well in all of these tests. Now, I understand we're using a math model here, and those are the two seats that performed the "best" but take a look at the RATINGS, and tell if you notice anything.

Anything?

Perhaps you notice that the Evenflo Embrace, an inexpensive and readily available seat, performed BETTER than the Graco Snugride with EPS foam when installed using the vehicle safety belts. Now, I know I'm only going to install my car seat one way...so, why should it matter to me that it would perform poorly if I installed it the other way? It shouldn't and it doesn't, and I think it's crazy that they didn't acknowledge that fact at all in their article.

Another glaring oversight is the fact that they tested the Snugride with EPS foam, but didn't point out that most of the snugride models don't have the EPS foam. They didn't give enough information about how different seats failed to help us sort out whether that makes a difference or not. One thing we can deduce, however, is that at least the Snugride base should be safe, since a separation from the base or an overrotation shouldn't have anything to do with the EPS foam. The third criterion for failure was grave injury detected by sensors on the dummy. The EPS foam may have made a difference on this one, but at least we can be pretty sure the seat won't be flying around the car in a crash.

Oh, but wait, there's more. The Graco Safeseat with EPS foam failed miserably. Another factor not pointed out, though, was that it was tested with a 30 pound dummy while the other seats were tested with a 22 pound dummy. This is because the dummys selected were of the maximum rated size, and the safeseat has a higher weight rating based on the less rigorous national standards tests. This is a reasonable choice, but the distinction should be pointed out. It's completely possible, though we can't know from these tests, that the safeseat would be safe with a 22 pounder, even though it failed with a 30 pounder. Small difference, you say? Well, there's not much difference between 30 and 35 mph either, but the extra 5 mph meant catastrophic failure for the seat most highly recommended based on the 30 mph tests. And it, of course, brings up another issue: Is my baby safer in the infant car seat at 10-15 pounds than at 22 pounds? I would love to see another round of tests where they test many sizes in the range. Maybe my baby is totally safe from birth to 12 or 15 pounds. At that point, maybe it's time to switch to a convertible seat. As usual, these tests leave a lot more questions in my mind than answers.

34 Week Belly Picture!

2007-01-02T12:28:00.000-06:00

Christmas Knitting

2006-12-28T13:25:00.000-06:00

Now that Christmas is over I can post pics of this year's gifting. I didn't make much, but that meant it got finished on time!!

	For my Mommy. This hat and the gloves match a scarf I made for her last christmas. It was the wavy from knitty, slightly modified for cleaner edges. It didn't get finished until the end of January, so I'm very proud that this year's gifts were wrapped and ready before Christmas Eve!
The gloves and above hat are made from KnitPicks Andean Silk on size 7 bamboo needles. I'm completely in love with Andean Silk. Super warm, soft and not itchy! Hand wash only, technically, although I often wash my wool in the machine on cold. It gets a little fuzzy and felted, but doesn't shrink, so that works for me.
	For my sis, before felting the second slipper. Normally I would have felted them at the same time, but this was my first time working with SWS and I wanted to be sure it would felt ok before I bothered knitting a second slipper.

Wow, he's growing fast!

2006-12-27T13:32:00.000-06:00

hiccups!

2006-11-25T08:32:00.000-06:00

Yay. I've been wondering all pregnancy if I was just not noticing the razz having hiccups, but last night, he definitely was. It was really fun. I had been up with the dogs and was trying to get resettled, when I felt a gentle kick. Followed by 30 or so more in rhythmic succession. So cool. The other razzmama was awake, too, so she came in and got to feel them with me. Toward the end, we think he was getting irritated with all the hiccuping, because he started kicking hard after each one. I know the feeling, kid!

Baby Socks!

2006-11-22T18:32:00.000-06:00

I'm busy with Christmas Knitting at the moment, so it's mostly been small projects for The Razz. I knitted the umbilical cord hat from Stitch 'n' Bitch, and here are some socks I knitted for him.

recycled wool longies :)

2006-11-22T18:23:00.000-06:00

These are my first 3 pairs of longies for The Razz. They won't fit for a while, but they were fun and relatively easy to make, and incredibly cheap. Each wool sweater at goodwill: $2.50. And I should be able to get at least 2 soakers out of the body of each sweater.

Sweet!

2006-08-30T11:54:00.000-06:00

Actually, it wasn't all *that* sweet! Everyone describes the glucola you have to drink for the glucose tolerance test as sickeningly sweet, but really it was just slightly sweet with a bitter after taste. I had a very hard time finishing it in the alotted 5 minutes, but I managed. When I first started drinking it, my heart started to race. I'm still not sure whether that was just because I was nervous about it, or if it was an actual physiological response. The really sweet part was the result! 76! I apparently have great sugar control, at least for now. They'll test again at 28 weeks (12 weeks from now), but I'm really glad there is so much room to spare. The cutoff is 130 and 70 is the low end of normal. YAY! Our next appointment is in another 2 weeks for an ultrasound, which we hope will finally reveal the sex of the razz! I REALLY hope we can tell. If not though, at least we'll get our first glimpse of the RAZZ!! I can't wait!

it's still in there

2006-08-17T12:47:00.000-06:00

So, Tuesday we had another prenatal. We waited an hour past our appointment time, and then went in. We got to hear the heartbeat again, which is always reassuring. I don't know why, but as we get close to each appointment, I start to worry that something bad has happened, so hearing the heartbeat is super wonderful to me. Many annoying things happened during this visit, but I'm going to try to focus on the positive. The baby is still in there with his or her little heart beating strong. We loved hearing it so much that we bought one of those passive listeners to listen at home. It's too early to hear that way, but we had lots of fun listening to cats purring, everyone's gut sounds, and talking. Way cool. I can't wait until we can actually use it to hear the baby. Also, I'm really looking forward to actually feeling the baby, and looking obviously pregnant in my clothes. Both are still probably several weeks off.

Baby Crazy

2006-07-30T08:02:00.000-06:00

Wow. We got to spend some time with our friends and their 6 week old son yesterday. It was awesome. We hadn't seen them in a long time, as they moved to Chicago last year, so it was great to catch up, and of course, wonderful to meet their new addition. After holding this little baby in my arms yesterday, I am even more anxious than ever for the razz to get here. I can't believe our little one is only about 3.5 inches long, but in 28 weeks will be around 20 inches and in my arms! I wouldn't even believe there's a baby in there, except that we heard the heartbeat at the 6 week ultrasound and again by doppler at our 10 week appointment. We will have another appointment at 14 weeks, and I'm sure we'll try to hear it again, but everyone says it's hard to hear it if you are overweight (which I am) so I'm a little apprehensive about even trying to hear it again. Thankfully, we'll be having another ultrasound at 17 weeks so even if we don't hear it at 14 weeks, we'll get another round of reassurance pretty soon after. And as a bonus, we'll get to find out the gender! We are SO anxious to know! It's not that we will be happier one way than the other, we just want to know!!! AHHH!

THE RAZZ!

2006-06-17T19:08:00.000-06:00

Ok, I don't really know why it has taken me this long to post this, but tomorrow I will be 6 weeks pregnant! We are, of course, very excited. This was going to be our last month trying. In fact, last month was going to be our last month trying, but then much drama ensued.

Briefly, we went in for our follicle scan on a Friday, and they said they were too small, so we should just wait for monday because they probably wouldn't mature much before then. Well, I ovulated on saturday or sunday, because they were gone when we went back in on monday. As if this wasn't bad enough, we then had to sit in consultation with the doctor where she implied that it couldn't have possibly worked anyway, because there is no way that those 17X20 follicles got big enough before I ovulated to be worth anything, so we should consider moving on to IVF or adoption. While that sounded like a total BS cover her ass kind of story to us (cover her ass because missing it ended up costing around $1000 for nothing), we were pretty discouraged, and also really angry that we missed the chance.

Maybe that was just what we needed, however, because the month we conceived, we threw off all inhibition and insisted on coming in on sunday instead of waiting until monday. Our wonderful PA whom we love said the follicle was already starting to collapse, which meant I would probably ovulate that day. We inseminated Sunday, in the clinic all by ourselves with just the PA and the sonographer. It was peaceful and fast, and the most joyous insemination we had in the many many months we had been trying.

We decided we weren't going to test until after I missed my period. If you've been following along, you can probably guess what actually happened. At 9DPO, we tested with a clearblue digital, the only test we had on hand. It was negative, but those tests aren't really intended for early detection, so we weren't really surprised or discouraged. At 10DPO, however, we went to the dollartree and bought 7 of their tests. We got a tiny tiny positive. So tiny, that I wasn't at all sure about it. Susan had obsessed sufficiently in previous months, however, to be 100% sure that that was a positive result. It's totally different than the other times, she assured me. I was cautiously optimistic. I was also feeling very sick at the time, so the excitement we were expecting was all but missing. We tested again at 11DPO (two or three times) and I still wasn't sure, but I was getting more confident. At 12DPO, we tested a few more times, and I was much more confident that those were truly positive. By 13DPO (a saturday) we tested with FMU for the first time, because we don't like to test in the morning on a work day when we will have to be apart right afterward, and that was clear enough that we decided to do another digital. The digital test said "Pregnant." For some reason, this is what it took for me to get excited. All the double lines in the world weren't going to make me believe I was pregnant, but there's not misreading a digital. There's no wishful thinking involved. I couldn't believe and I was REALLY excited for the first time. We went and had a beta on Monday (15DPO) and it was 187. The followup on Wednesday was 351. We thought this would be super reassuring, but the negative attitude of the CNM really just made us nervous again. She told me the number, and I said "So that's good so far, right" And instead of just saying "Yeah, so far so good," she had to add a "but it's still very early." Like you can try to conceive for 10 months and not understand that there are no guarantees. Argh.

So, we're getting over that now, and I feel pretty confident at this point. Our doctor wants to do a six week sono (which would be this week), but we're going to try and hold off until 8 weeks, since 98% of pregnancies continue to term if a heartbeat is seen at 8 weeks, vs. 78% for a heartbeat seen at 6 weeks. Right now I feel like we'll make it, but if we need the reassurance, we'll just have it early. I'm just excited that we've gotten this far, and really hoping that it all works out. I can't wait to meet the RAZZ!

Spring Fertility

2006-04-12T10:26:00.000-06:00

The onset of spring is making us giddy with thoughts of fertility. Our own, of course, but also the wild plant type. We're planning a major native landscaping project for our back yard, and it's so much fun. There are so many beautiful native plants that require no mowing whatsoever, that I can't wait to get started! I can't help but think of the razz, as we make all these plans. I feel a sort of earthy connection between the two events that's completely unshakeable. I'm choosing to take that as a sign that the razz is ready to join us!

Back in the game

2006-04-05T08:59:00.000-06:00

Wow, it's been forever since I've posted here. We have been taking a short break while we wait for me to work up to the right dosage of metformin. During the time of silence, we have been back and forth over and over again over whether we should go ahead and try again starting next cycle, or whether we should wait until fall. Here's the pro-con list...strangely, this is the first time I'm doing this, even though we've already made a decision. It will be interesting to see whether the list agrees.

Pro	Con
We are really, really, desperate to have a baby. We want it more than anything, and we've already been waiting almost unbearably long. Even if we start trying right now, it still might take several more tries. We're not getting any younger. We're hoping to have more kids after this, and if we don't get started soon, some of our options are going to become less viable. Our lives are already set up, ready, and waiting for the baby, and a several month wait is not long enough to pursue a different arrangement, but too long to be in a holding pattern.	I might not be eligible for fmla by the time the baby is due if we get pregnant right away (i'm waiting to hear from personnel on this issue) It's still possible, though unlikely, that I won't get the job I'm expecting to get, and therefore might be unemployed for an indeterminate amount of time (this should be resolved one way or the other within the next two weeks) The combination of metformin, really careful eating, and not as consistent as I'd like exercise is helping me lose weight right now, and losing more weight before becoming pregnant could be beneficial.

Pro

Con

We are really, really, desperate to have a baby. We want it more than anything, and we've already been waiting almost unbearably long.
Even if we start trying right now, it *still* might take several more tries.
We're not getting any younger. We're hoping to have more kids after this, and if we don't get started soon, some of our options are going to become less viable.
Our lives are already set up, ready, and waiting for the baby, and a several month wait is not long enough to pursue a different arrangement, but too long to be in a holding pattern.

I might not be eligible for fmla by the time the baby is due if we get pregnant right away (i'm waiting to hear from personnel on this issue)
It's still possible, though unlikely, that I won't get the job I'm expecting to get, and therefore might be unemployed for an indeterminate amount of time (this should be resolved one way or the other within the next two weeks)
The combination of metformin, really careful eating, and not as consistent as I'd like exercise is helping me lose weight right now, and losing more weight before becoming pregnant could be beneficial.

These are the main arguments on each side. I think we have made the right decision, to try again this cycle. Now, if we can only get the timing to cooperate! With our plans to make a much needed trip to Arkansas, and with me hopefully starting a new job shortly thereafter, there's a lot that could possibly interfere. I guess it's back to the ordering and scheduling stress ride! Like Susan always says, if it works, it's worth anything it takes. It's just so hard to deal with all we have to do each cycle, when at the end of it all, we're back at square one.

GoogleMapPedometer

2006-03-01T16:48:00.000-06:00

This is pretty cool. Since I'm trying to do the 1000 minutes of exercise a month thing, I'm needing to add back in my lunchhour walks. The weather has been great for it and it gets me outside in the real air for a while instead of being cooped up in my office all day. I found this Google Map Pedometer today and thought I would share. It's pretty nice. I had been wanting to check out exactly how far I had been walking. I had guessed about 2 miles, and I was pretty much right on!
My Route:
http://tinyurl.com/g63da

and, a link to the pedometer so you can make yours:
http://www.webwalking.com/googlemap.htm

Tag, I'm It!

2006-02-23T11:04:00.000-06:00

I've been tagged by my beautiful, brilliant, sweet, and wonderful partner. It's a good thing she was the one to tag me, too, because this is now the third time I've tried to post this, and for anyone else, I would have given up by now! Here we go.

Seven Things To Do Before I Die:
1. Have a kid
2. Live somewhere a lot more queer than here
3. travel, a lot
4. have another kid
5. learn to eat healthy without getting depressed about it
6. umm, I can't remember this one
7. Get a horse (come on, doesn't every little girl want a pony?)

Seven Things I Can’t Do:
1. Cross my eyes
2. Wink
3. Let go of the past
4. Eat just a little junk food, just once in a while
5. fly
6. I really had two more of these, but I couldn't remember them after I lost this post the first time. Wah!

Seven Things That Attract Me To Blogging:
1. Susan
2. Creating a keepsake for the baby-making time
3. Trying to remember what I did yesterday

Seven Things I Say Most Often: (not in order)
1. Mer, you're disgusting
2. I'm hungry
3. what do you want to do now?
4. Get out!
5. corn is such a pie
6. Let's talk about housesSHHH!
7. Good dog!

Seven Books That I Love:
1. Oryx and Crake
2. Wicked
3. Tipping the Velvet
4. The Ender's Game books
5. Time Enough for Love
6. Much Ado About Nothing
7. Mike Mulligan and His Steamshovel

Seven Movies I Watch Again and Again:
1. But I’m a Cheerleader
2. O Brother Where Art Thou
3. Big Eden
4. The Princess Bride
5. Eve’s Bayou
6. Jackie Brown (from now on, that movie rocks!)
7. The Matrix

Seven People I am Tagging to do this Meme:

1. >2. You people need to start blogs.
Yeah, that!

Metformin

2006-02-10T09:18:00.000-06:00

So, I started the Metformin last night, and so far so good. Since we're not going to be inseminating for a couple of months and I won't have to worry so much about jostling the egg out and about being sure not to restrict my calories, I'm going to make a big push these next couple of months to lose some weight. I think if I really work at it, I should be able to lose 15 pounds by the end of March, so that's my goal. My big secret weapon in these two months shall be Dance Dance Revolution. Susan and I were at the mall yesterday and I heard the music from it playing at Tilt, and went over there to see that they did indeed have a Dance Dance arcade machine with the same music set as the version I have at home. This got me all reinvigorated on the Dance Dance. I still feel like a total dork when I dance dance, so there's no way I'm likely to ever play the arcade version when there's anyone around, but if I can find it on an empty night, I might be really tempted to go play it! But before that can ever happen, I definitely need to get back into it. Go Dance Dance!! :) In March, I'll also be joining the 1000 minute challenge on the forums I read. I think it will really help me continue to push myself on days when I just feel too lazy and time crunched to spend time exercising.

Ugh.

2006-02-09T12:30:00.000-06:00

Ok, so yesterday was the test. We thought it was going to be an HSG, but they did a Saline Infused Sonogram instead. Basically, it's the same procedure, except that instead of using dye, they use saline, and instead of xRays they do a sonogram. This makes it seem like it's a little safer, and it probably is.

This appointment was a nightmare. On the upside, it was over quickly once we got in. We had to see the actual doctor for this test, which, I'm guessing, is why we had to wait 40 minutes past our appointment time. Now, our doctor is a very good doctor, and usually friendly, but rushed. That's fine, she's has lots of patients and lots of responsibilities; i expect her to be busy. What I don't expect is to be completely ignored as she blows off steam with the sonographer about how she can't get hold of another doctor who she needs to ask a favor of. I also do not expect to be left on the table with a speculum in while she leaves the room to answer her cell phone. On top of this, the procedure itself was very painful, though short, and I think the rush she was in and the infrequency with which they perform these test made it more painful than it needed to be.

We found out from the test that my tubes are fine, so that's not the problem. This leaves us no closer to figuring out what *is* the problem, if there is a problem at all. I mean, we've only tried three times with decent timing, and lots of people without any fertility problems take as many tries. But anyway, without knowing if there is anything really wrong or not, the next step we are taking is for me to take glucophage, which is a diabetes drug. The doctor warned me that I would most likely feel like absolute crap while taking it. This is because it lowers your blood sugar. Now, to me, it seems like if it's making you feel crappy, it must be lowering it too much, but I guess I'm wrong about that, since she told me to expect it. Whatever. We now get to skip this cycle and next cycle to give the glucophage a chance to work, and try again in april.

Dye.Dye.Dye

2006-02-05T07:54:00.000-06:00

So, no luck last cycle, which means this cycle we will do an HSG, which is the dye test I talked about in the last post. This is good and bad. To get the bad out of the way first, it means we will have to skip this cycle. There are several ways in which it is good, however.

No clomid this month. This is good for two reasons: I can have a break from the emotional roller coaster, and I can chart see if I would ovulate without the clomid now, as sometimes happens after you've taken for a few cycles, oh, a third reason is that clomid also causes your endometrium to thin, which is bad for implantation and part of the reason they make you take a break after 6 months, so taking a break from it now will mean I have a better nest for the razz next month.
It seems that the pressure of the dye will sometime flush out small blockages from the fallopian tubes. When I read online about this happening for people, I thought it might just be coincidence for a few people, but I felt more encouraged when our PA actually mentioned it without any prompting from me.
If the test is clear and we do get pregnant on the next cycle after it, the razz will be conceived pretty close to Susan's birthday.
I can drink alcohol, caffeine, and nutrasweet in moderation this month
If the test is not clear, we will know what the problem is, and can move on to IVF or whatever our next option will be.

Obviously, the good outweighs the bad here.

Update

2006-01-19T17:05:00.000-06:00

Just a brief status report: We had a follicle scan on wednesday and saw two good size (23X20) follicles on the left (yes, LEFT...woohoo, it works) ovary, and one pretty good one (18X16) on the right ovary. We did an insem and trigger shot wednesday, and a second insem today. Our wonderful pa told us the next step would be the test where they put a bunch of dye in your uterus, then watch it on ultrasound to see if it makes it through the tubes. If it doesn't, it means the tube is blocked. This gave me the idea that perhaps our lack of success has been due to a blocked tube on the right side. Since we have hardly had any follicles on the left before, that would make sense. Hopefully having two goodies on the left this time around will do the trick. They also had a recent twin conception through IUI at our clinic, so we're hoping to score some babydust off of that couple! If we manage not to obsess this time around, you shouldn't hear from me until I get either my period, or a positive test. Since the odds are strongly in favor of obsessing, however, I fully expect at least a couple more posts before that. Cross your fingers for us and send us fertile thoughts (hmm, does that sound a little dirty to anyone else? Oh well.)

ignore it....

2006-01-09T12:30:00.000-06:00

This month we are trying the ignore it approach. I'm not charting; after the insem I'm not going to test at all until 16 days later if I haven't gotten my period; and this is hopefully going to be my last entry for this month. I hate to do this, because if I do get pregnant this cycle, I will be disappointed about not having the charts (don't ask me why), but it's still better than having another month during which both of us obsess constantly and make ourselves and each other miserable. Ok, miserable may be overstating a bit (but just a bit), but it really is difficult when we're both obsessing. I might get to a place where I'm feeling good and confident and not worried about it at all, but at that time Susan is bound to be feeling pessimistic and downtrodden, and then of course, we switch roles, only rarely both feeling good about the cycle at the same time. So this month, I'm taking my meds, then we're going for the follicle scan and trigger shot on cd14, inseminating on days 15 and 16 and then waiting until day 32 to test. That is all. See ya in 25-30 days.

wah.

2006-01-03T13:40:00.000-06:00

So, by the looks of my chart it would seem that this month is a bust. I've seen a lot of charts that looked like "no way in hell" that ended up being pregnancies, but this chart is just too much like all of my other charts to mean anything other than "try again next month." I should know for sure tomorrow, except in the exceedingly unlikely case that I actually am pregnant, in which case, who knows when we'll know for sure? I didn't test today and I probably won't test tomorrow, but If I don't get my period by tomorrow, I will definitely be tempted to test the next day.

Women Vs. Technology

2006-01-01T22:08:00.000-06:00

Ok, there was a picture of the home pregnancy test we destroyed, but I can't get the link to work right now, and my battery is about to die, so, instead you will have to click here to see it.

So, as you can see, we have finally succombed to tearing the tests apart. Seriously though, in this case there was a pretty decent reason. Everyone knows by the time they have been trying to conceive for 7 cycles that you should never read a pregnancy test after the 10 minute window because of the possibility of an evap line. This is a line that appears on pretty much any pregnancy test some time after the testing period, whether you are pregnant or not. What we didn't know is, how soon do evap lines really show up? This information would become vital tonight. I tested using an accuclear brand early result hpt, and saw nothing at all inside the 10 minute window. Since it is still early, we were a little disappointed and impatient, but not much more than that. Since we had thrown the test on the floor, it needed to be picked up. This was done about 25-30 minutes after the beginning of the test. And at this point there was clearly a pink line. I'm thinking (and saying) that thirty minutes should be way too soon to see an evap line. So we get the bright idea to go ahead and take the test apart and see if it is still wet, figuring that it shouldn't show an evap line until it's dry. So, we do, and it is still wet, so we are cautiously optimistic and take this as a good sign, but not much more that that. Then, the brilliant susan has an even better idea. She tests *her* pee and then we look at the stick 30 minutes later. She has a pink line too. Dammit! Oh well. We're really no worse off than we were this morning, but all that false hope really sets you up for a fall when the bubble bursts. wah!

lh wins, but hpt follows closely!

2005-12-28T09:25:00.000-06:00

Ok, so yesterday I finally got a negative LH test. Barely. Today's was more negative still. When I did the accuclear pregnancy test yesterday, the results were so far off center that I couldn't see the line because of the shadow from the way the result window is inset. So I did a clearblue easy digital and it said "Pregnant." You gotta love the total clarity of those things! Then when I looked at the accuclear again holding the opposite way (so the shadow was on the opposite side) I could see the line easily. Oh well...One wasted backup test is not that big of a deal. Anyway, today the line on the accuclear was SO FAINT, that I thought I might be imagining it, so I did another CB digital and it said "Not Pregnant." With backup from susan, I'm now sure that the accuclear *did* show a very faint line, so that particular test must have been slightly more sensitive than the CB digital that I used. But now at least we have a baseline faintness on the accuclear. I'll keep testing every day and watch for it to get darker. I'll be curious to see if the line ever totally goes away (if I'm pregnant) or if it just stays faint until my body starts making its own HCG. It's really exciting to be in the phase where we can now trust a positive if it happens! :)

For those of us keeping score

2005-12-26T22:33:00.000-06:00

It's neck and neck. Hopefully we'll end in a 3-3 tie. We now have inseminated on cycles 2,5,7 and skipped 3,4,6. I'm leaving 1 out because we weren't really trying to try that cycle.

Also, still testing positive for both pregnancy and lh surge, so the grand experiment shall continue tomorrow morning.

Fun With Science

2005-12-24T07:06:00.000-06:00

So, since I got the hcg shot, a pregnancy test will come out positive until the injected hcg is out of my system. For fun, I'm testing every day until I see a negative. This could be anywhere from a few days to never. I'm really pulling for a negative around 7dpo, returning to positive at 10 or 12 dpo. For good measure, I'm also doing OPK's every day. So far, I've had a positive OPK every day since tuesday, dec 20. I've had a positive pregnancy test every day since thursday. Anyone want to bet which test will go negative first? Any suggestions of other types of home tests I can run on my pee? This is loads of fun, and it's helping my baby craziness to do something every day. In other news, my temps finally crawled above the coverline today. This was one of the strangest looking cycles I've had so far. Ultra consistent and high temps in the ovulatory phase, then lower consisitent temps for several days after ovulation, then today finally creeping above the coverline. With the progesterone, the rest of the cycle *should* stay above the coverline no matter what, but knowing my body, I'm at all sure what to expect.

It's all good

2005-12-22T08:13:00.000-06:00

So, tuesday evening we had a REALLY positive OPK. Yay! Then wednesday morning was positive again, as has been the trend. Everything was looking perfect. We went for our IUI at 10:30 wednesday morning (that's yesterday, folks) and our sperm wasn't there. Doh! Well, no problem really. It was guaranteed to arrive by noon, so it wasn't *that* long to wait. We had figured it would get there earlier because in the past it has arrived by 8:30am. What we obviously forgot to account for was the holiday package frenzy that fedex would be dealing with. So, we went to breakfast and then did a little shopping and went back at 1. We got to use a new room on the surgical side of the office since they had to work us back into the schedule and all the regular rooms were taken. So, we had the insem, which was less comfortable than usual. I suspect I'm just becoming more of a whiny baby about it and it wasn't *really* any more uncomfortable than usual. Then, we get a surprise. With no prompting from us (which she wasn't going to get this time around) our wonderful inseminatrix asks if we want to do a Trigger shot. Yay. I am, of course, terrified. I can't really say no, because then if I were to not get pregnant this month, I would always blame myself. And I *want* to have the shot, but everyone says they hurt really bad, and I'm not a big fan of pain. So, for the record...it hurt NOT AT ALL. I was a little irritated at all the people who have written in some place or other that it was extremely painful. I mean, I'm laying there, holding susan's hand and I feel a tiny little prick and she asks, "How was it?" And I say, "It's over?" Now, it did sting a bit after a minute or two, but that is not the type of pain that bothers me. It built up slowly and then disappeared within ten minutes. I should mention, that the nurse at our wonderful doctor's office gives the trigger in two shots (one in each cheek) so that it won't hurt as much. I guess it works. I doubt anyone would argue if you asked for it in two shots instead of one, so I'd do that if I were ever offered the trigger shot from someone who didn't already split it up. Anyway, the point. EVERYTHING should be right this month. No room for error in the timing with the trigger, lots of ripe and ready follicles, lots of time to relax and woo the razz. I should have two or three eggs up there waiting to be fertilized, so hopefully two weeks from now, I'll be reporting a positive pregnancy test!

How do I love thee, let me count the follicles

2005-12-20T10:08:00.000-06:00

1...2...3...4....5! Yay! Okay, two great, beautiful, perfect follicles on the right, plus one close behind. Two respectably sized (14X14ish) follicles on the left (!) . Still no positive OPK as of 7 this morning, but that is what we expected. We are ordering "the stuff" today to arrive tomorrow to inseminate on the solstice!!! This is so exciting and feels really right. I feel strongly that this will be the month. There's a decent chance we will get twins out of this, but we will be totally happy whether we get one perfect little razz or the razz brings a twin along. For some reason, I'm really interested in the idea that we could get twins conceived on two different days, since we will be inseminating on wednesday and again on thursday. I can't wait and I think this will be the worst 2ww in terms of the baby craziness, but in some ways that's the best as well. I love to let myself get really into the excitement and possibilities. It makes for a pretty hard crash at the end of the wait if we're not pregnant, but I feel like a prefer that too trying to hold my excitement at bay just in case. This makes the wait a little bit hard for us as a couple, because Susan is the opposite way. She likes to protect herself from the crash by trying not to get completely invested in the idea that it's going to take in a given month. I think her approach is smarter and better in a lot of ways, but either way, a negative test is crushing to both of us. But that's the end of my negativity for the month :) I feel like this *has* to be the month. Five beautiful follicles of love, solstice insemination, progesterone support after the insem, and really good strong happy love vibes. Come on razz, you can do it!!

We're down with OPK -

2005-12-16T16:20:00.000-06:00

I did the OPK this afternoon at 3:30 and it was negative. This is a good thing, because it was already too late to order "the stuff." I meant to test at 1:30, which would have put us in under the wire for ordering, but I managed to forget. I don't expect a positive until monday or tuesday, but with the higher dose of clomid, who knows what will happen this cycle, and I want to be sure not to miss it. A positive before sunday afternoon will mean another missed cycle, so keep you fingers crossed for me for the kits to stay negative this weekend!

It's Official...

2005-12-07T16:28:00.000-06:00

Our next follicle scan will be December 19 at 2:30. I scheduled it in the afternoon because it's much nicer if we can have the rest of the day off together afterward, especially if it's not good news like last month. I expect good news this time though. It should be the right ovary, which seems happier than the left in general, and with the clomid upped to 100 it seems like this should be a good month.

A New Hope

2005-12-06T13:56:00.000-06:00

Well, today is cycle day 1 again. It has me feeling all hopeful again now that we're officially past the skipped cycle. So, I'll be starting on 100Clomid Saturday and we'll go in for a follicle scan two weeks from yesterday. That day will be my father's birthday, which is pretty cool. Also cool is that that is the day I had planned to file my name change petition. All that stands in the way of that happening at this point is finding a typewriter. I can't believe that they *require* it to be typed, but don't have a digital version available so you can just fill it in and print it. Also the timing for the actual inseminations will probably put one of them on the solstice. That would be super cool. And since I was already planning on taking solstice and the rest of the week after it off from work, I won't need to take any additional time and I won't have to work a half day on the insemination days. Yay!

Not much to report

2005-12-02T12:31:00.000-06:00

There's really nothing going on since we're skipping this month. I keep temping and uploading my charts (see Links to your right) and it looks sort of like I may have ovulated afterall. It doesn't really matter, since there was no way we could have arranged an insemination with the way the timing worked out. Since the doctor was closed thursday and friday, we had our follicle scan wednesday. The normal thing would have been to have another scan on friday. If I really did ovulate, we would have seen a nice big ready follicle on friday. Now, we *could* have had a scan on friday, but we would have had to do it at the hospital, and then we would have to call the poor on call inseminatrix at the last possible minute to get her to do the insem on friday or saturday. Sound like a pain? It did to us. That's why we decided to skip, so it was still the right thing for us even if I ovulated. It's feels more frustrating if I did though. Oh well. Here's hoping for a Solstice miracle! It really *will* be a miracle if the Christmas holiday doesn't jack things up the same way that thanksgiving did!

follicle what?

2005-11-23T16:50:00.000-06:00

Sad Saddy mcSadness. No mature follicles this month. About 3 or 4 little ones on the left, none on the right. This means no insemination...again. We're upping the clomid to 100 for next time. Who knows, maybe it didn't work at all last month and I just got lucky with a nice big follicle. That's what it seems like to me, so I'm just hoping upping the dose will be all it takes. If we get to try next month, it will probably be around solstice, which is cool.

Insurance...

2005-11-21T16:44:00.000-06:00

Well, I'm happy to report that the insurance company has decided to pay for one follicle scan and one insemination per month. Well, at least they decided to pay for one of each last month. After talking to them on the phone, I thought it would be necessary to ask our doctor to submit another request for pre-authorization, and I also thought that it would be denied. But I was pleasantly surprised to see that the doctor's office submitted a new request without any prompting from us, and apparently it was approved. Yay! Happy. We'll go in for our *free* follicle scan on wednesday. It should be too early to inseminate that day. Since we did get a positive OPK last month, we're going to wait for a positive this month and plan our insems around that, since it looks like we were early last month. If the pattern holds from last month, friday and saturday are likely to be the days. And the pattern is pretty likely to hold, seeing as it's drug induced anyway!

Preemptive Jealousy?

2005-11-15T16:28:00.000-06:00

Well, again today I awoke at 5am to a doggie needing to go outside. Since my normal time for temping is 7:15, this is about the worst time for this to happen. It is too early to meaningfully adjust up, and too late to get 4 consecutive hours of sleep before waking for the day. Could it be that our wizard, genius dog is trying to sabotage our attempts at conception? I doubt it, but I wouldn't put it past him!

more clomid

2005-11-14T11:33:00.000-06:00

So, today I start the clomid again. I'm a little nervous this time around because the side effects should start getting noticeable around Thursday, when I will have to attend a meeting in the Chicagoland area. This means I have to ride in a mini-van with 6 men for two hours in the morning (when I will be tired) and another 2 hours in the evening (when I will be tired again). Also, I have to actually attend the meeting, most of which I will be completely glazed over for, since I simply am not a hydrologist. Near the very end of this meeting, I will probably have to demo my program. Now, I'm still just now getting the program to the point where it won't have any glaringly obvoius bugs. Normally I could skip over this step and only demo things that I know work (this is the norm for in-progress demos, btw) but this time around I am meant to leave an installation disk so that they can experiment with the program. This means it basically has to be at least pre-release quality. Are you getting the picture at this point. I'm super stressed this week, the stress is only going to increase, and is going to culminate at the time of peak emotional side-effect from the clomid. I have never *ever* so looked forward to Friday. I took it off so that I can recover. At least that means three weeks in a row of partial work weeks since last week we had veteran's day off and next week is Thanksgiving. So, at least there's that :)

The Waiting is Over (for now) and Insurance Woes

2005-11-11T08:43:00.000-06:00

Well, at least no more waiting...I'm definately not pregnant. :( I'm quite sad, but at least I'm not still in the clinging to every last hope stage, which is really hard for me. So, since we will be trying agin next month, I decided to call the insurance company about a letter they sent after our first visit to the doctor. Here is an excerpt:

Based upon the information provided on August 4, 2005, the documentation provided dies not indicate Ms. K has been unable to obtain or sustain a successful pregnancy through reasonable, less costly, medically appropriate infertility treatment for which coverage is available under their plan. Thus, based upon this medical review, it does not appear Ms. K is eligible for the infertility benefits acailable through the ---- plan provisions.

Ok, we were expecting it not to be covered, especially right at first. What I wasn't expecting was the subtle implication that fertility treatment would be covered, just not the treatment we chose. So, today I called the insurance company and talked to R who was very nice, although completely unhelpful. He said that my doctor also got a copy of the letter, and therefore I would have to ask him (although she's a she) about what other treatments would be medically appropriate. When I reiterated that the letter doesn't say what would be covered, he said that she would have to determine what other treatments were appropriate and send another request for predetermination of benefits. To clarify, I said "So basically, we just have to guess what might be covered and wait for someone to decide whether it will be covered or not?" And he said (and this is the good part) "Yes, basically" Ok, so, there are LOTS of things you *could* try to get pregnant. I can't think of many other options that would work for us. I guess I will ask about it at our next appointment, but I don't have high hopes. My best bet is that since I seem to not be ovulating on my own, they may be able to re-request benefits on that basis and perhaps then at least the follicle scans and clomid might be covered. It's worth a try, but I *hate* that they make you keep doing more paperwork over and over again instead of just telling you what's covered. I mean, I realize that they can't cover every possibility in a set of strictly followed rules, but how about some general guidelines?! Ugh!

the waiting game...

2005-11-10T15:51:00.000-06:00

So, I should have gotten my period yesterday. I didn't. My temps are still in the ambiguous range, especially given that we don't really know what differences can be attributed to the clomid. Today, I see a little spotting and think my period has started. I almost never spot before starting. It's insanely heavy from day 1 usually. Again, could this be a weird unexpected effect of the clomid? Sure. Could it also be that I'm pregnant? Sure. Could it be the universe screwing with my head? Definately. So, more waiting then. Hopefully just until tomorrow.

uhh, Joe?

2005-11-08T16:22:00.000-06:00

In case you haven't figured it out, the previous post was meant for another blog. In baby news, I'm keeping my fingers crossed, but I'm really trying to prepare myself for the inevitable arrival of the unmistakable negative.

Back in the swing...

2005-11-08T16:19:00.000-06:00

We will be meeting Tomorrow at the usual time and place (see Meeting Info to the right).

and then...

2005-11-07T12:54:00.000-06:00

OK, so yesterday's faint faint positive disappeared after the 10 minute read window. One would think that this should be ok, but no. Apparently this is a negative result. A repeat test this morning was also negative. gah! Well, we're still hopeful that it's just a bit too early still, so we will be testing again tomorrow morning (with a different brand of test). If I'm pregnant, I would think it would be positive tomorrow, but I don't think I will believe I'm not pregnant until I actually get my period.

world's faintest positive!!

2005-11-06T07:45:00.000-06:00

I don't want to say too too much in case it turns out to be untrue, but we got the world's faintest positive today. I'm 10DPO and my period isn't expected for another 3 days, so faint is ok. I'm just really really excited!! :)

testing....

2005-11-02T09:13:00.000-06:00

I woke up this morning and REALLY wanted to test. Don't ask me why. I hate testing early. It's always negative and it always makes me feel bad to see a negative, even if I know it's too early. I think it's going to take a lot more effort this time around to make it to the testing window. I'm totally convinced this is the month. Of course, I'll be totally convinced this isn't the month in an hour or so, and back to be convinced it is and hour or so after that, so obviously my gut is not an accurate predictor of anything at this point!

Nothing to do with ttc,pregnancy,birth,or parenting! :)

2005-11-01T16:50:00.000-06:00

I'm sure I will regret this, but I'm going to try this.

why not homebirth?

2005-10-31T12:40:00.000-06:00

I'm so irritated that I keep starting and restarting this post. I'm baffled. No matter how much I think about it, I can't for the life of me figure out why the state of Illinois should be invested in keeping midwives from practicing. Yeah, great, we have certified nurse midwives who are trained with hospital policies in mind, and not legally permitted to attend homebirths, and most often work for the hospital. Umm, this is not helpful. I cannot trust that this person will be an advocate for me to make sure my well researched choices are honored. In fact, in many cases this person may not be allowed, by hospital policy, to let the parents choose what does and doesn't happen to their child immediately after birth. Even if a particular midwife, nurse, doctor, hospital will allow you to make these decisions, it's hard to know that your birth plan will be followed when 98% of parents probably choose to just follow the standard procedure. I'm not down on that. I think *every* parent has a right to choose what interventions will be administered to his or her baby and when, and if a parent's choice is to follow the hospital's standard procedure, I think that's fine. I just don't feel very sure that the experience my partner, my child, and I will have, will be under our control. I want more than anything to give birth in my home, with my partner, and then to lay in bed together as a family, enjoying our very special day. All studies indicate that this is at *least* as safe as giving birth in a hospital, especially for low risk situations. I'm really saddened that this is looking very unlikely. I suppose that we could have the child at home without *any* professional help, but that's a little further than feels safe for me, even though many people do it successfully. I'm just completely lost as to why the state has made the only choices to be In a Hospital where you will be attended by medical professionals, or at home with no help at all, while excluding the safest, most natural option, of having a trained professional help you give birth at your home. Meanies!

Majorly Impatient

2005-10-31T09:00:00.000-06:00

I simply can't wait to find out if the Razz is being baked. I feel really optimistic about it, especially since my chart is starting to look better. The Clomid has the pre-O temps artificially elevated, so right after ovulation it didn't really look like my temps went up at all and I was starting to worry that I didn't actually ovulate. There's no doubt that I did now and that's a big first step. If you figure that the pre-O temps were artificially high, it also looks like there might be a triphasic pattern emerging, which would be a nice pregnancy indicator (although no guarantee). I just can't wait to find out. I know, I said that already, but I can't help it. I REALLY want this to be the month. All the signs are positive...I just can't believe I have to wait another 10 DAYS to find out for sure. How will I ever make it that long!

The ongoing internal debate over lexapro...

2005-10-27T10:09:00.000-06:00

I think that's a definite no throughout pregnancy, and sadly a probably no while nursing :( I keep going back and forth on this.

I've lived with depression throughout a lot of my childhood, most of my teen years, and all of my adult life. When you're depressed, it's really difficult to get yourself motivated enough to get help. For me (and I think this is pretty common too) it was also difficult because I bounced around from feeling like I didn't deserve help or didn't deserve to feel better and feeling like I shouldn't need help, to thinking I should just be able to decide to feel better, to feeling like some people just aren't happy people, and that was just how I was *supposed* to feel. Last year I had an "event" which made it pretty much impossible not to get help, and I managed to get myself to a doctor who prescribed lexapro. It changed my life completely. I was a totally different person. Some people would say I was no longer myself, but I really do think it's more like I was finally myself. After doing really well on the lexapro for 9ish months, we decided we were ready to have a baby, and I decided I needed to go off the lexapro in order to do that. I've been off it for 3 months now, and I am again a totally different person. I feel like I'm managing it better at the moment and I'm hopeful that I can continue to manage it without medication, but I really miss it.

Anyhow, this was my point:

from http://www.rxlist.com/cgi/generic/lexapro_wcp.htm

Pregnancy-Nonteratogenic Effects

Neonates exposed to LEXAPRO and other SSRIs or SNRIs, late in the third trimester, have developed complications requiring prolonged hospitalization, respiratory support, and tube feeding. Such complications can arise immediately upon delivery. Reported clinical findings have included respiratory distress, cyanosis, apnea, seizures, temperature instability, feeding difficulty, vomiting, hypoglycemia, hypotonia, hypertonia, hyperreflexia, tremor, jitteriness, irritability, and constant crying. These features are consistent with either a direct toxic effect of SSRIs and SNRIs or, possibly, a drug discontinuation syndrome. It should be noted that, in some cases, the clinical picture is consistent with serotonin syndrome (see WARNINGS).

When treating a pregnant woman with LEXAPRO during the third trimester, the physician should carefully consider the potential risks and benefits of treatment (see DOSAGE AND ADMINISTRATION).

Labor and Delivery

The effect of LEXAPRO on labor and delivery in humans is unknown.

Nursing Mothers

Racemic citalopram, like many other drugs, is excreted in human breast milk. There have been two reports of infants experiencing excessive somnolence, decreased feeding, and weight loss in association with breast feeding from a citalopram-treated mother; in one case, the infant was reported to recover completely upon discontinuation of citalopram by its mother and, in the second case, no follow up information was available. The decision whether to continue or discontinue either nursing or LEXAPRO therapy should take into account the risks of citalopram exposure for the infant and the benefits of LEXAPRO treatment for the mother.

What a relief....

2005-10-27T08:45:00.000-06:00

OK, this is the second time I'm writing this due to some cookie issues earlier today. We went for our second cycle5 IUI yesterday and it was wonderful. We saw our usual and favorite inseminatrix, and she, as usual was cheerful, helpful, fast, and friendly. She looked at the notes from the sonogram and assured us that my left ovary is actually totally fine. Best we can figure, the radiologist must have meant that the *follicle* on the left ovary was tiny, which it was. We feel very optimistic about this cycle, and our FI even said she felt like this was the cycle. I hope we're all right. We also went on a date after inseminating (I think it's probably *only* people using AI/ART who go out on dates *after* trying to get pregnant!). We saw In Her Shoes, which turned out to be a Good Movie, and much better than the book. Yay! We also played a game of airhockey. We were very close all game, but it was S who pulled off the 7-6 win. Congratulations, babe! Nicely played.

Get in my belly!

2005-10-26T12:14:00.001-06:00

OK. I decided to go ahead and start this now. This is our fourth cycle trying to conceive. Unfortunately, it's only the second cycle we have been able to inseminate. The journey so far has been complicated, but not as complicated as it is for a lot of people I suppose. Here are the highlights:

Cycle 1

Ok, we weren't really trying yet this cycle...just charting. The chart looked ok, not great, but then, we were also travelling and I wasn't doing the best job of taking my temps at the same time every day, so I just figured that was the problem.
Cycle 2

Perfect beautiful textbook chart, although long. Big sigh of relief. We ordered our sperm to arrive around CD16 I think (maybe I'll check that later). The sperm sat and sat while we waited for a positive ovulation predictor kit result...and then we ran out of time. The tank is only guaranteed for 7 days, so we had to send the "stuff" back or it would go bad. Next day, positive kit. Rush order a new sample (from a different donor) and inseminate on the next two days. Wait...wait...wait...test...negative...
wait...test...negative...wait...period.
Cycle 3

Chart looks ok, but not as good as cycle 2, which will henceforth be known as the miracle cycle. Testing...Testing...1,2,3,4,5,6,7,(it's gotta be soon, order the "stuff") 8,9,10,11,12...ok, I guess I'm really not going to ovulate. Right. OK...send back the stuff (or more accurately, scowl at the stuff and say you'll send it back when you send it back, because this batch now has bad mojo after being sent back once already, and you don't want to use it again anyway). Look at the chart and say "Look, it really looks like I ovulated, doesn't it?" Gah!
Cycle 4

Buy fertility monitor so we feel like we're doing something. Have fun peeing on a stick for 8 days (low) 6 more days (high) and less fun for the next 6 days (also high, but never peak) Go to doctor to recheck thyroid (AOK on synthroid) and ask what we should do about the apparent No O cycles. Decide to start clomid.
Cycle 5

Clomid.Clomid.Clomid.Clomid.Clomid (CD5-9) Much excitement. CD14, sonogram. One lonely follicle 26X22mm. This is a really good size, but we're disappointed after having read other people's comments about have 3-6 good follicles, and also because this means no twins unless we get lucky with identicals. Then,
Radiologist: "Wow, I can't find your left ovary. Oh, there it is. It's REALLY tiny."
Me & S: "Umm, what does that mean"
Radiologist: "Probably that it doesn't work"
Sensitivity much? She was really nice though in all other ways, so I think she probably didn't realize how upsetting that would be to a couple trying to conceive. Even if it doesn't effect anything though, saying "Hey, your reproductive bits don't work" is upsetting. Then, New practitioner (certified nurse midwife) we haven't worked with before comes in, ignores S. Then later does the insemination inexpertly in comparison to our previous inseminatrix. We ask her what the small ovary means in general and for our future attempts should this one not be successful, and she says "She didn't mention it to me" When pressed she basically said "I don't know", but she used a lot of words and said it in a way that made it sound like she thought she was giving a useful informative answer. She also said "It doesn't matter" which is not the way you talk to a woman who is over-amped on estrogen and trying to make a baby, who just found out she only has one functioning ovary. Ok, in tears at the creation of my baby, was not at all what I expected. More to follow after today's insemination, where we hope to be attended by our previous practitioner who we LOVE.