THE RAZZ!

Ok, I don't really know why it has taken me this long to post this, but tomorrow I will be 6 weeks pregnant! We are, of course, very excited. This was going to be our last month trying. In fact, last month was going to be our last month trying, but then much drama ensued.

Briefly, we went in for our follicle scan on a Friday, and they said they were too small, so we should just wait for monday because they probably wouldn't mature much before then. Well, I ovulated on saturday or sunday, because they were gone when we went back in on monday. As if this wasn't bad enough, we then had to sit in consultation with the doctor where she implied that it couldn't have possibly worked anyway, because there is no way that those 17X20 follicles got big enough before I ovulated to be worth anything, so we should consider moving on to IVF or adoption. While that sounded like a total BS cover her ass kind of story to us (cover her ass because missing it ended up costing around $1000 for nothing), we were pretty discouraged, and also really angry that we missed the chance.

Maybe that was just what we needed, however, because the month we conceived, we threw off all inhibition and insisted on coming in on sunday instead of waiting until monday. Our wonderful PA whom we love said the follicle was already starting to collapse, which meant I would probably ovulate that day. We inseminated Sunday, in the clinic all by ourselves with just the PA and the sonographer. It was peaceful and fast, and the most joyous insemination we had in the many many months we had been trying.

We decided we weren't going to test until after I missed my period. If you've been following along, you can probably guess what actually happened. At 9DPO, we tested with a clearblue digital, the only test we had on hand. It was negative, but those tests aren't really intended for early detection, so we weren't really surprised or discouraged. At 10DPO, however, we went to the dollartree and bought 7 of their tests. We got a tiny tiny positive. So tiny, that I wasn't at all sure about it. Susan had obsessed sufficiently in previous months, however, to be 100% sure that that was a positive result. It's totally different than the other times, she assured me. I was cautiously optimistic. I was also feeling very sick at the time, so the excitement we were expecting was all but missing. We tested again at 11DPO (two or three times) and I still wasn't sure, but I was getting more confident. At 12DPO, we tested a few more times, and I was much more confident that those were truly positive. By 13DPO (a saturday) we tested with FMU for the first time, because we don't like to test in the morning on a work day when we will have to be apart right afterward, and that was clear enough that we decided to do another digital. The digital test said "Pregnant." For some reason, this is what it took for me to get excited. All the double lines in the world weren't going to make me believe I was pregnant, but there's not misreading a digital. There's no wishful thinking involved. I couldn't believe and I was REALLY excited for the first time. We went and had a beta on Monday (15DPO) and it was 187. The followup on Wednesday was 351. We thought this would be super reassuring, but the negative attitude of the CNM really just made us nervous again. She told me the number, and I said "So that's good so far, right" And instead of just saying "Yeah, so far so good," she had to add a "but it's still very early." Like you can try to conceive for 10 months and not understand that there are no guarantees. Argh.

So, we're getting over that now, and I feel pretty confident at this point. Our doctor wants to do a six week sono (which would be this week), but we're going to try and hold off until 8 weeks, since 98% of pregnancies continue to term if a heartbeat is seen at 8 weeks, vs. 78% for a heartbeat seen at 6 weeks. Right now I feel like we'll make it, but if we need the reassurance, we'll just have it early. I'm just excited that we've gotten this far, and really hoping that it all works out. I can't wait to meet the RAZZ!